Sexuality / Singleness

Sexual & Single: Embodied

Your body.

It’s a beautiful thing.

This topic of embodiment flows nicely from our last discussion of our five senses (which was forever ago, so refresh your memory HERE). Those five senses definitely feed into your embodied state, but there is more to it than that. We’re physical beings. We’re biological beings. And our sexuality is inextricably linked to these things.

Salsa dancersI love dancing. LOVE IT! I particularly like hip-hop and Latin ballroom. Yes, I’m aware they are fairly different. I’ve found dance to be a great way for me to express myself sexually in the fullness of my embodied nature. My whole body is engaged through the entire experience. It’s a great way to just let your body loose and explore the ways you’re capable of expressing yourself through your body. Also, you should know that I look exactly like the female dancer in the picture on the dance floor. I wear strips of fabric as a skirt and everything 😉

Free HugsHugs, or other culturally appropriate physical displays of affection, are also a great way to express your embodied sexuality! I’m personally convinced that physical touch is one of my top two love languages which means that everyone who knows me gets hugs! And pats on the backs. And back rubs.  And massages. And touched on the arm occasionally. And pats on the head. I could go on, but I’m sure you get the point. Being touched and touching others releases healthy sexual energy in me and is a perfectly valid sexual expression!

ModelThe way you dress can express your sexuality. God made both men and women beautiful! He is beautiful. We are beautiful. There is no reason to be ashamed of your physical appearance or to hide it. Work it!  So break out your sundresses and heels, ladies! Or tank tops, shorts, and flip flops! Whatever makes you feel fabulous. And guys, what about you? Fitted blazers? Skinny jeans? T-shirts? Board shorts? Whatever it is, break it out! I even encourage the wearing of large blue furry rugs if that’s your thing. Nowadays there is so much discussion in Evangelical Christian circles about what not to wear and which clothes aren’t appropriate. I think it’s time we spun the conversation in a positive light.

ExercisingExercise is another great way to enjoy and express your embodiment. I am personally a huge fan of physical activity when I feel like taking the very next man who walks by me to bed…or to a couch…or a table…you get the point. After all, it is a physical arousal I’m having (or you’re having) so why not look to release it in a physical way? Go for a run or a walk. Throw on a Pilates or zumba video. Get on the floor and start doing sit-ups or push-ups. Better yet, make physical activity a regular part of your life. It can actually help relieve some of your innate sexual energy.

To that last point, I am not speaking of lust here. Fighting lust should always be done spiritually first. The Word and Jesus’ name are absolutely more powerful than anything we can conjure up on our own. Sometimes though we confuse lust with simply the way our body is designed to work. There are times when our body is simply responding to an outside stimulus or a thought that crossed our mind or seemingly nothing at all in the way that God designed it to. And that is never a bad thing. Once again…your physical body becoming aroused is not a bad thing. The reason for or object of your arousal might not be the greatest, but that’s a different matter.

In what ways can you use your body, dress your body, or move your body to express your sexuality?

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4 thoughts on “Sexual & Single: Embodied

  1. “I am personally a huge fan of physical activity when I feel like taking the very next man who walks by me to bed…or to a couch…or a table…you get the point.”

    Yes, I got you. And people ask me why I run so much. I’ll just refer them to this post next time. Haha #gofigure #releasetheenergy

  2. Oh we move so much when we get aroused. Sometimes I just enjoy sitting with my arousal/ sexual hunger. It is the most delightful feeling to simply let that hunger for physical touch, intimacy etc. just well up. I am all for sexual expression but sometimes I think it is good to sit in that moment…in that energy. 🙂

    • Excellent point! Thanks for your comment 🙂 I just read the piece that you recently wrote about this exact thing! I agree with you that allowing and teaching ourselves to sit with this heightened sensual experience of being aroused can allow us to have a more sensual experience with the world around us (you mention noticing the intricate designs of a piece of art, delighting in the vibrant red of a tomato, and seeing even more beauty in the person who sits across from us.) Even though you only mention a heightened visual stimulation, I think you would probably agree that our other senses could be heightened as well.

      You also wrote that the typical responses to this sexual energy are “jogging, motorbike rides, surfing, dancing and for the rest of us, we masturbate.” So my post kind of covered the first 4 items you mentioned and then you added masturbation. All of those are physical acts.I’m wondering if you think sexual energy requires us to do something to burn it off? Do you ever just sit with it and find that it kind of diminishes on its own?

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