Homosexuality / Random Thought Thursdays

RTTs: God is not trying to “fix” gay people (re-blog)

On Monday, I wrote a post for Connie Jakab over at Culture Rebel. It was a brief post and just a retelling of my story of porn addiction, masturbation, and same-sex attraction. Some of you have already read the long version (page 10), but if you haven’t feel free to check out the short version here. As a follow-up to my story, Connie wrote a piece called God is not trying to “fix” gay peopleYou can check out the original on her blog or read it below. What are your thoughts?

Do you think that you interact with and respond to gay people in a God-honoring way?

What makes it difficult for you to do so?

——————–

As a follow up to the brave 23 year old girl who posted yesterday about her struggle with her sexuality and lesbian porn (which you can read about here), I feel the need to express the idea that God is not trying to “fix” gay people or people struggling with their sexuality.

He is not mad at those who either struggle or engage fully in a gay lifestyle

He doesn’t wish for anyone to live in shame.

He hasn’t left them.

He doesn’t want to fix them.

He isn’t calling us to fix them either.

How do I know? Because God doesn’t come at us from a place of condoning our shame, but pursuing us with relentless love. Think of how Jesus responded to anyone the religious people brought to Him, who they considered sinners.  Jesus didn’t speak judgement on them, but was moved with compassion towards them.  He didn’t call out their sin, He called out their best and then called them into life.  The intention of His heart towards them was wholeness and freedom.

That is the same way God wants to move on the hearts of those broken by shame and guilt.  He doesn’t want to fix, He wants to make whole.  He wants there to be freedom from shame, because shame is crippling.

There’s a big difference between saying, “God wants to set you free” (aka: fix you) to,  ”God wants you to experience freedom.”

There’s a difference between believing God wants to help someone so they can “become worthy”, and looking at them knowing they are already full of worth.  What difference would knowing this make in the way we speak and relate to others?

What was Jesus’ purpose in His desire to bring people to wholeness?  ”God didn’t go to all the trouble of sending his Son merely to point an accusing finger, telling the world how bad it was. He came to help, to put the world right again.” (John 3:17 The Message)   His motivation wasn’t birthed from judgment, but love.  He wasn’t moved by pity as if to say, “Oh you poor souls…”.  No, He was moved by compassion to come along side.

I received Brad Jersak’s book, “Kissing The Lepar” in the mail today.  I finished 80% of it already.  I want to conclude with a couple of quotes that stood out from the book (check out the book here)

“Getting our eyes repaired from religious and cultural prejudice so that we can see Jesus in others, especially the least of these.  In God’s eyes they are not the least, not the lost.  But the world, and too often the church, has treated them that way.”

In regards to a bisexual woman who was inquiring about attending Brad’s church and what they thought of her lifestyle, he replied:  “I’m not going to quote Bible references at you.  No doubt, you’ve heard them already.  I’m going to use you as my reference point.  If you feel that your bisexuality is sin and bondage and if you think you need to walk through repentance and deliverance, I’m willing to walk with you. If you feel that it’s a type of brokenness, a symptom of past abuse that needs inner healing, I’m willing to walk with you.  And if you feel that God made you this way and you just need to know he loves you and that we won’t reject you, I’m happy to walk with you.  My job is not to be your judge.  My job is to help you hear God’s voice and to feel His love.”

I love how Brad responded.  How many pastors respond this way?  How many churches?  What safety could a response like this bring to the hearts who are expecting rejection and judgment? I believe when we can get to a heart like this and beyond the striving notion that we are called to “fix”, we’ll see a love and unity like we’ve never experienced.

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6 thoughts on “RTTs: God is not trying to “fix” gay people (re-blog)

  1. I think it’s just an odd, blurry line to walk–even if it’s not, it seems that way. To say “God loves you,” but “God hates X, Y, or Z.” To properly divide the two without cutting through the person also takes an expert care. Of course, it would be best left to God for that, wouldn’t it?
    I think the trickiest part for me is saying God accepts you without saying God will never try to change you, because that part isn’t true. Far beyond homosexuality, God sanctifies his people of any number of things we call sin.
    But again, that’s the point. We need to get in God’s fold first, then take whatever steps are necessary depending on the case–like that guy said about “if you think this, I’ll walk through it with you; if you think that, I’ll walk through it with you.” But if Jesus saves, the heart is changed and that’s the only way ANY sin is removed anyway.
    Like I said, it seems like such an odd tightrope, mixing truth with love and not falling over to either side.

    • Thank for commenting! I agree that it can seem like a blurry line to walk.I like that you said, “Of course, it would be best left to God.” So true. How then should we live? I wonder if it’s not a question so much of how to mix truth with love, but how to not be so concerned with being right and trying to do God’s job for him?

  2. I thought it was a well written post, but Supashmo definitely said what I would have. Jesus never said that we could remain who we are if we want to follow him. He said we would have to give him everything. It is almost a disservice to let people think that life can remain the same when they follow Jesus. People should know that to love Jesus is to make sacrifice, to be stretched and pushed, and it won’t be the easy way.

    I have been to other countries where to accept Jesus is to be disowned by your family and your culture and possibly lose your life. Those people risk losing it all and yet still choose Jesus. I think our culture could sacrifice more of themselves than they are willing to. All that to say I do think the approach is a good one though. Jesus had more grace and love for sinners than most Christians of today.

    • Yeah, I definitely hear you. I always wonder why we say that salvation is a free gift. On the one hand I understand that we have done nothing and will never be able to do anything to deserve that gift of God’s grace, but on the other hand, like you said, Jesus does say that we are to lay down our lives and pick up our cross. Woahhhh. How seriously do we take that today? And what would that look like in today’s American society?

  3. Having walked through this with a close friend, and working with students who have confessed their homosexuality, I’ve definitely had to face this. It’s difficult to know how to navigate, for sure! I honestly can’t say that I’ve always handled it correctly, but I do know that each person is different and each has a unique story and attitude. The only thing I know to do is to ask for the Holy Spirit’s guidance. It’s good to be prepared by knowing what you believe, but beyond that I think we must lean into God’s guidance. It’s always becoming clearer to me that operating in the Holy Spirit is a must!

    • Yes, love that you point out that each person is different and as a unique story and attitude. I think that is so true and a something that everyone needs to keep in mind. I also agree that it is beneficial to have thought through things for yourself, but ultimately to rely on the Spirit’s guidance. What a good word!

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