For the month of February, I’m going to take each of the aspects of our sexuality that I previously outlined in Sexual & Single: Introduction and give you ways that you can express those if you’re single! Keep in mind, if you’re married you are free to express your sexuality in most of these ways as well 🙂
As a refresher: Sensual– this refers to our senses and the pleasure that can be obtained through them. Smelling something good (perfume or cologne), hearing something that is pleasing to us, touching or being touched in a way that feels good, etc.
Expressing the sensual side of your sexuality deals strictly with aspects of your physical self, as opposed to spiritual, mental, or emotional aspects. I think because of this, Christians get really squirmy around the word sensual. But I promise there is nothing to squirm about. When it comes to living this human life and expressing this thing that is our sexuality, I think there are two key principles.
- Know thy God and thyself.
- Live in thy God given freedom- practicing self-control.
So with those in mind–indulge your senses.
Touch: In this arena a couple of my personal favorites are massages and bubble baths! You can also get to know your body. What kinds of touches feel good and where? How does your body respond to being touched in different parts? This does not need to delve into the realm of masturbation. Touch your arms, your sides, your neck, the bottom of your feet. Learn to listen to your physical self. What do you kind physically stimulating?
Sight: To pleasure your sense of sight spend a day in an art museum. Find the style you like and explore others you’ve never experienced. Art not your thing? God created plenty of natural beauty for us to enjoy just outside of your front door! Take a walk through a forest preserve, on the beach, or in the mountains. Watch a sunrise. Learn what your eyes are drawn to. What do you find beautiful?
Smell: This may be my most favorite of the senses. I’m sure this is creepy and TMI, buuuut, I really like smelling people as they walk by me. A good smelling person just adds so much joy to my day 🙂 So, with that being said, make my day and wear perfume or cologne. Put an air freshener in your car or light scented candles in your living space. Try all different kinds! Vanilla, Citrus, Floral, etc. Learn what scents are most pleasing to you. What types of scents do you most enjoy?
Hearing: Music has a way of invoking emotion and moving us. If you always listen to the same type of music, broaden your repitroire. Try some jazz or R&B- Lauryn Hill is always fabulous. Expand your mind with earth shattering harmonies- the Civil Wars or Elenowen are great options. Dig harder bass lines? Try some metal with August Burns Red or some hip hop with Lecrae. Explore the wide range of God given creativity, transcendence, and talent that is out there and discover what is truly music to your ears!
Taste: I don’t know about you but I think there is something sexy about delicious food. The warm Krispy Kreme donut that melts in your mouth. The chocolate covered strawberry that is perfectly plump and juicy. That glass of red wine that tingles in your throat as you swallow it. If you can’t tell, I love food and I enjoy every one of my interactions with it! You should to. Pay attention to how different food and drink makes your body feel. Do some make you feel sluggish? Warm and happy? What really makes your taste buds dance?
Challenge for the week: Choose one of your five senses and intentionally experiment with it to figure out what is especially pleasurable to that aspect of your body. I would suggest trying the one that makes you squirm the most.