Recently I’ve been reading through Proverbs and a few weeks ago I stumbled across this verse:
He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22
When I first read this verse, I could feel my insides start to churn. Not because I think marriage is bad or that married people shouldn’t receive favor from the Lord, but because I couldn’t think of a single verse anywhere in the Bible that so succinctly says that God pours out his favor on those of us who are not married. I know there are plenty of verses that describe God’s love for us and his willingness to give us his favor that don’t discriminate solely on marital status, but that’s just it- I felt less important to God because I am not married.
I felt as though God’s eyes were roaming the earth, looking over his children, and whenever he saw a married one he’d say, “+1 to Jennifer for finding a husband!” or “+1 to David for finding himself a wife!”
But God doesn’t give +1’s. I know that I am imposing favoritism which is so ingrained in our fallen nature on a just God who loves all of His children equally. But I also know what I felt and I knew that that feeling has a root cause (or many root causes).
I wonder if the messages I received from the Church growing up about marriage- that it is the ultimate form of earthly relationship, is guaranteed to happen, and should be what I aspire to- caused me, in that moment when I read that verse, to interpret God’s word through those lies.
And I hate that I felt that way, but I did.
How did you feel when you first read the verse?
To all you married folks out there: in being married and in finding a spouse, have you found “what is good”? What is that goodness (to you, personally)?
I know that not everyone who is married or has been married would agree that they found “what is good.” We would love to hear your experiences as well!
For you single people, what have you found that is particularly good about being single?