Sexuality redefined. Live free. Part I

I am by nature a person of very few words. The words that I choose to say, I mean. Words hold a lot of weight to me.

Currently, I’m taking a journey through the book of Proverbs and it has amazed me how much of the book thus far (I’m through the first 16 chapters) has been about the power of your words.

“Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” Proverbs 16:24

“The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life.” Proverbs 15:4

“Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Proverbs 12:18

I can’t help but think about the words the Church uses to talk about sexuality- from the pulpit, to youth ministries, to families in their homes. Our language informs what we believe about and how we think about sexuality.

Some of the words we use in conversations regarding sexuality need to be redefined, starting with sexuality itself.

The tagline of this blog is “Sexuality redefined. Live free.”  I’ll comment on the first part of this statement today.


A few years ago a pastor during his sermon said, “You should not express your sexuality before marriage.”

I don’t know how you feel about that statement, but all kinds of emotions and thoughts were running through me. Part of me wanted to stand and walk out the sanctuary. That may have been a rather harsh response, but part of me wonders if I should have. This message is harmful and I see it as something that is very wrong with the Church.

Expressing our sexuality is something all of us do on a daily basis because we were created as sexual beings!

I’m a sexual being now. I was a sexual being yesterday. I’ll be a sexual being tomorrow. I can’t just stop being a sexual being until I get married!

If instead of talking about how to suppress our sexuality until marriage and what not to do with regards to our sexual nature the Church spent time on how to celebrate, enjoy, and live out our sexuality in a God-fearing, healthy, and holistic way, Christians, and perhaps society (through our influence), would have a much different and much healthier view of sexuality.

Instead of seeing sexuality in a negative light we need to start seeing it for what it truly is- a good gift from God that at its core is the insatiable desire for intimate human relationship.

Sexuality redefined. 


11 thoughts on “Sexuality redefined. Live free. Part I

  1. I am curious as to what holy, God-fearing sexuality looks like before marriage? You may be saving this for a future entry or already talked about it, but I would like to know your thoughts on it! 🙂

    • I don’t mean either one of them necessarily. I’m assuming that by sexual act your referring to intercourse and by sexual behaviors you’re talking about other erotic sexual behaviors. Our sexuality is not that one dimensional. It also encompasses the ideas that we’re relational, embodied, sensual, etc. and there are many ways of expressing those veins of our sexuality that do not include erotic sexual behaviors!

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