Pornography

No Condemnation

As I stand here testifying

I know there’s fire burning in my eyes an’

I’m terrified by the mighty things you could do through me

And as I kneel down and face the floor

I know that there is still more of me that you desire

And I pray that your all-consuming fire would destroy me

Break me to the point where I can see your divinity intertwine with my destiny

Expose my pride and ignorance

Cause although they say ignorance is bliss

I’ve yet to feel it, see it, touch it, hear it

And I’m afraid that I’ve missed it

And you tell me I have

You see I’ve been so busy listening to all the noise and lies that bombard

Me from the outside

That the fire that was once within me has died

And although I cry and fight with all my might to reignite those embers

The noose around my neck grows tight

And it’s as I die I see the light

The light of your love, of your mercy, and of your truth

That only through your power will the strands of this noose break

And set me free from this addiction, this captivity

That I’ve wrestled with since I was twelve

For which I should surely be condemned to Hell

But as I look into your face, a sinner in need of your grace

I see tears of sorrow swell in your eyes

Reminding me of the countless nights that I’ve cried

And as you take me in your arms you whisper gently

“Child, yes you have done wrong, and you’ve caused yourself

and others great harm

But I love you more than you’ll ever know

A quantity larger than the amount of rain or snow

That falls from the sky

Or the light that pierces the darkness in the night

More than the sun, moon, and stars

And the galaxies far beyond the ones that can be seen

And because I couldn’t bear the thought of us being apart

Or stand the sting of my beloved never knowing true freedom

I stood in your place when the judge heard your case

And when his gavel struck true the verdict for you was innocent

And there is now no condemnation.”

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2 thoughts on “No Condemnation

  1. I used to believe that I was saved without a doubt. But, now I’m in bondage to my own addictions and I find myself questioning. I know God loves me. But, I also know I will be judged by my works. They aren’t so good right now. I never thought I would ever come to a time in my life where I would question my salvation. I felt so sure of it for so many years.

    • I remember times when I was looking at porn and the thought would cross my mind that if Jesus were to come back right now, he should send me to Hell. What an awful view I had of God- that he would see my struggle and just toss me away! I think the evil one has a way of infiltrating our lives with lies, such as, I am not worth saving or I am not good enough to be saved. Those are the times that we need to speak truth into our lives and surround ourselves with people who will speak truth in our lives. I would encourage you to read through some of the books of the Bible and find verses that speak truth to you in regards to doubting your salvation. The ones that stood out the most for me were 2 Corinthians 3:18, Romans 6:22, and Romans 8:1.

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